Over the last couple of months I’ve been accused of things I haven’t done, had my intentions misinterpreted, and generally shared around in a way that casts me in a bad light, with people will fully ignoring facts or my own explanations.
Now, what reaction could there be to this? Anger? Hurt? Do I confront people?
No to all of these. Anger is the most pointless of all emotions. As someone wise once said (I can’t remember who) ‘holding onto anger is like holding a handful of red hot coals to throw at someone’. It hurts you more in the long term than it even does your ‘enemy’.
Hurt? Hurt exposed vulnerability, and even though this can be no bad thing, usually it is better to not reveal it. Vulnerability, sadly, is seen as an exploitable weakness, and there is a real risk of it being taken advantage of. A more sensible option is rationalising the situation, and trying to explain away to yourself any hurt feelings.
Confrontation always makes things worse. Physical violence is only a step away. Although it may solve problems short term, it creates a slow burning resentment which will fester, and cause more issues in the future.
So what do I do here?
I guess the answer is forgive and forget. Live and let live.
I have no wish to cause any harm to anyone, intentional or otherwise. I try to live my life causing as little offends as possible, and avoiding conflict like the plague.
And right now that’s what I’m doing. Letting all the negativity flow through and out of me, rationalising it as I go, and forgiving every self-perceived wrong.
It’s a slow and unpleasant process. But I genuinely think it’s better than casing more strife in the world.
There’s enough of it around as it is.