lionofchaeronea:

Hadleigh Castle, The Mouth of the Thames- Morning after a Stormy Night, John Constable, 1829

(via allthingsromanticism)

Ranty thing

Warning - emotions ahead.

Ach. I really need to sort myself out. I’ve hurt too many people. Intentionally or not.

People I’ve callously set aside. People I’ve pushed beyond their boundaries. People I’ve only appreciated until it’s too late.

It’s not the Perse any more. All that I went through. It’s over now. I’ve been bringing it with me everywhere. Letting it rule me years after it happened.

It’s not the Perse anymore. My mind still thinks it is. I’m too defensive, too reactionary. All my responses are hard wired as a defence. Even when there’s no need for it I’ll lash out at those who are close to me, because I didn’t, and sort of still don’t, know what it’s like to not have to run. To hide.

But I don’t have to any more. I no longer loathe myself. I no longer hate my body. I’m finally comfortable with what I am, and what I like and how I go about my life.

I just need to get my personality in check.
Less banter.
Less offhand cruelty.
Less judgement.

I know what I need to do. I just have to get there.

Why rant about this on tumblr? Because it cements it in my mind. Makes it real.
Watch me go folks. There’s only stars ahead.

Alex x

Holding grudges really isn’t worth it, you know.

Over the last couple of months I’ve been accused of things I haven’t done, had my intentions misinterpreted, and generally shared around in a way that casts me in a bad light, with people will fully ignoring facts or my own explanations.

Now, what reaction could there be to this? Anger? Hurt? Do I confront people?

No to all of these. Anger is the most pointless of all emotions. As someone wise once said (I can’t remember who) ‘holding onto anger is like holding a handful of red hot coals to throw at someone’. It hurts you more in the long term than it even does your ‘enemy’.

Hurt? Hurt exposed vulnerability, and even though this can be no bad thing, usually it is better to not reveal it. Vulnerability, sadly, is seen as an exploitable weakness, and there is a real risk of it being taken advantage of. A more sensible option is rationalising the situation, and trying to explain away to yourself any hurt feelings.

Confrontation always makes things worse. Physical violence is only a step away. Although it may solve problems short term, it creates a slow burning resentment which will fester, and cause more issues in the future.

So what do I do here?

I guess the answer is forgive and forget. Live and let live.

I have no wish to cause any harm to anyone, intentional or otherwise. I try to live my life causing as little offends as possible, and avoiding conflict like the plague.

And right now that’s what I’m doing. Letting all the negativity flow through and out of me, rationalising it as I go, and forgiving every self-perceived wrong.

It’s a slow and unpleasant process. But I genuinely think it’s better than casing more strife in the world.

There’s enough of it around as it is.

allthingsromanticism:

View of the Avon Gorge by Francis Danby, oil on panel, 1822.

no-puppy-eyes:

O T H E R   P L A C E S  [x]

Life in the long vac no-puppy-eyes:

O T H E R   P L A C E S  [x]

Life in the long vac no-puppy-eyes:

O T H E R   P L A C E S  [x]

Life in the long vac no-puppy-eyes:

O T H E R   P L A C E S  [x]

Life in the long vac no-puppy-eyes:

O T H E R   P L A C E S  [x]

Life in the long vac no-puppy-eyes:

O T H E R   P L A C E S  [x]

Life in the long vac no-puppy-eyes:

O T H E R   P L A C E S  [x]

Life in the long vac no-puppy-eyes:

O T H E R   P L A C E S  [x]

Life in the long vac no-puppy-eyes:

O T H E R   P L A C E S  [x]

Life in the long vac no-puppy-eyes:

O T H E R   P L A C E S  [x]

Life in the long vac

no-puppy-eyes:

O T H E R   P L A C E S  [x]

Life in the long vac

(via girlplaysgame)

Monsters of Land and Sea III

On the desolate moors in the far frozen north,
Where lichen carpets the land,
And the whistling wind blows unceasingly over
The lair of the Farthom Beast

Underneath peat bogs, built up by an age,
Lurks a truly terrible foe.
Misshapen and huge, it towers high
Over the ruined towers of kings.

For once a realm falls from its grace
And collapses to echoing ruin,
Monsters and creatures are drawn to it,
Marching from miles around

The Farthom Beast, one abomination
Is a mountain of poorly clumped flesh.
Standing on legs thicker than poisonous yew
It is barely a humanoid shape.

It waits underneath the waterlogged fenland
Until a party of adventure appears,
Clergy and knights, heroes and villains,
All of them searching for treasure.

As they make their presence known
The Farthom Beast rears up,
Pustulent hide which cannot be pierced,
Protects it from any mortal harm.

It grabs and it eats
It chews, it consumes
The screaming soon is cut off.

But still they say, on a clear cold night
You can still hear their cries on the wind

This isn’t satire.

MP’s here in Blighty have just voted to raise their pay from £67,000 a year to £74,000. The justification given by the head of the IPSA (‘fairness regulators’) is so unbelievable I can’t believe it’s real. The following comes from a Guardian article. 

"This is an important job, the job of an MP," Boo [the head] said. "They are there to represent us all, to form laws, to send young people to war.

"It is not an easy thing to do. We want to have good people doing the job and they need to be paid fairly. Now, that’s not paid in excess but it’s not being paid a miserly amount either.

"It’s our job to reach the judgment of what the right amount is. There are lots and lots of professionals in public life and in the private sector who earn a lot more than that – so it is not an excessive amount of money at all."

This just in folks. Apparently 67 grand a year is a ‘miserly amount’. 

Meanwhile, wages for, you know, people who perform services inherent to the wellbeing of the country, such as criminal defence lawyers (who work to try and stop the overly harsh punishment regularly dealt out by the courts) have undergone almost a 10% pay cut.

This is just beyond my comprehension. Good job British government. As if your electorate needed any more reason to hate you.

On the train from Oxford to London

Shadowed woods and shady lanes
Pass by unseen at night,
As I am carried into land unknown,
The inky blackness ahead

Intermittent neon shreds through my sight
Glaring red, and blue and green,
Telling of structures hidden under the moon,
All human buildings a lie.

And through the grimy window pane rears,
A field of man made stars.
A galaxy drawn in monotone orange,
Shoots its message to heaven.

On the line ahead lies the stellar cities
Of stations, rest and quiet.
These grad structures, monumental
Guide these voyagers home.

The Cat (Two of two) - Bilbo Swaggins The Cat (Two of two) - Bilbo Swaggins The Cat (Two of two) - Bilbo Swaggins

The Cat (Two of two) - Bilbo Swaggins

The Cat (One of two) - Tom The Cat (One of two) - Tom

The Cat (One of two) - Tom